Friday 27th September…

It’s been good to be back home in sunny Stockport for the week but today, on reflection, it may have been better to be away somewhere. Why? Because Mini Mr Six had his injections and has been out of sorts since getting them. It’s the type of ‘out of sorts’ that he likes to tell you about at 1am… and 2am… and 3am… and 4am… and 5am and…oh, wait, my alarms going off…

Alarm Clock

The method of vaccinations is an interesting one – they actually injected the Little Man with small doses of the disease they are looking to protect against. You probably know this; the theory is that the immune system learns how to combat it. What it does mean is that you get to see all of the symptoms of these illnesses going on in one way or another – mostly in the nappy (rotavirus – not nice), but also a little out the mouth (“Bllaaaaarrrrgggghhh!”), around the legs (bruised & sore) and a generally irritable & grumpy demeanour. That’s right Stockport – this stain isn’t the results of an angry bird attack expressing displeasure at my shirt it’s the stomach contents of my son I’m carting around on my back.

Little Ms Six’s terrible-twos tantrums continue to increase at an exponential rate. I was disturbed to discover that, as I set off for work the other day mid-tantrum (“Good luck love – I’ll see you at 5.30pm”), I was still able to hear her 2 streets along.  I’ll weather the storm for now – I’m hoping that this ability to project her voice can be married up with a developing interest in singing & dancing – if Harrison shows some capability in this area I could be in the beginnings of being the Father/Manager of the next Osmonds or Jacksons. Otherwise I may be left with no other choice but to open a dialogue with the likes of Madonna or Angelina Jolie; I could do them a good deal on a two and a half year old. Child, complete with all-weather wardrobe, car seat, and approx. one month’s supply or cereal for £200? What do you think?

MALAWI-MADONNA/

There are sooooo many things about raising children that people don’t tell you about. These are things that should be out there, cards on the table, for all potential parents to know. For example – it’s very rare I get to use the toilet in peace nowadays. The other day I was taking care of some personal business when Little Miss Six comes bumbling into the toilet. “Daddy, I need a poo poo”. Now then, as a one toilet household we had prepared for this eventuality and had a potty on stand by so I reached behind the loo and handed her this fine piece of equipment to use.

Potty

 

In her wisdom; Little Miss Six proceeded to place the potty directly in front of me, drop her knickers, and sit down facing towards me. As she went to work (Producing what can only be compared to an Elephant sized dump. Where does she store it all?) she leant forward, heaved a bit, and stared directly at me, intensely into my eyes and into the depths of my soul.  Finishing her giant jobby she cleaned up, leapt to her feet and walked away without a word, leaving me shaken and slightly disturbed with her unpleasant produce as company while I finished up myself.

Fatherhood is an experience like no other for sure.

See you on the other side…

 

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