It has been a couple of those weeks’ that has conspired desperately to drive me to a state of stress and despair; but I soldier on regardless.
I’ll begin by highlighting the fact that, last Saturday morning, I had my hair cut, and have felt a depressed longing for my Farrah Fawcett locks back. It seems that, like Samson, my hair may have been the source of some of my powers, and without it I am at the mercy of Philistines. Either that, or I’m prone to procrastinating when hot, bothered, and faced with paperwork at the office…
My car decided to go funny to the tune of a £220 repair. The mechanic explained clearly that there was significant problems with my warp nasals, quantum flux capacitor, and my dimensional polarity stabilisers (It was clear to me he was an unquestionable expert in his field) likely as a result some damage caused by either a speed bump or a pothole. I’m firmly blaming the council, so when you watch Crimewatch next week, turn a blind eye to the photo fit of the Stockport Council Arsonist…
Once again I was astounded at the precise & knowledgeable expertise of the Consultants in the Hospital’s maternity ward. I firmly believe I could be a Maternity Specialist – I am just as capable of sticking my finger in the air and guessing as they are and would spend the extraordinary salary far better. This may be a small insight into the superficial world of Mr Six – but surely a guy who can conduct the difficult task of delivering babies and making life & death decisions would be able to
a. tie a decent Windsor
b. put his belt through all the loops on his trousers
c. ensure that the Asda George tag on his trousers weren’t sticking out
d. actually tuck his shirt in effectively so I can’t see the Asda George tag sticking out
This is probably very wrong of me – but I want my Doctors in Rolexes’, dressed in Calvin Klein suits, with a fully coordinated Ted Baker shirt/tie combo… or at least able to dress themselves capably.
All this – and I am living with 2 unique and powerful characters currently. One a grumpy bear who is largely aggravated by heat, insects, my breathing, and repeated viewings of Finding Nemo. The other – a satanic little Devil Monkey raised in the pits of hell who likes to break sunglasses, repeatedly watch Finding Nemo, and generally poke the grumpy bear.
Speaking of the Satanic Little Devil Monkey – Mini Ms Six has really come along in her speech and has made some very interesting statements through the week. The highlight came the other morning as I was getting ready for work. The tie I was to wear was draped on the bed as I was puttering around getting dressed for work, and, as is often the case, Mini Ms Six was hanging out with me in the bedroom getting on with her new favourite pastime of bouncing on our bed like a trampoline. As I reached over to the bed to pick up my tie (Expertly coordinated with my shirt for me by the current Mrs Six) Mini Ms Six proceeded to snatch it out of my hand, drape it around her next and proclaim “Daddy, I’m a working girl” then held her arms up in the air and said “can you get me off?”. Naturally, I made things worse by laughing out aloud at what was actually quite innocent statements with my filthy, innuendo filled mind; entertained by my laughter Mini Ms Six then started storming around the house shouting “I’m a working girl, get me off” thinking she was a comedy genius! I hope to god she doesn’t repeat it at playgroup this morning.
We also had a bit of excitement down the street last night. As I watched the tennis highlights in bed on my iPad, precariously balanced down the edge of the bed as the current Mrs Six took over all the comfortable square footage with a sleep assisting arrangement of odd shaped pregnancy pillows, I became aware that the bedroom was being intermittently illuminated by a blue light. Turns out the industrial estate over the road was ablaze and the top of the street was filled with fire engines! Thank god someone noticed – I was completely oblivious as I immersed myself in the ladies tennis 😉 Here is a bit of a dark picture from out my window, you can just about make out the smoke and the glow of the flames. No clear shots of the fire-fighters ladies; I’ll do better for you next time.
They combated the flames well into the early am. (Did you know fire-fighting involved leaving the engine running on the fire engine, shouting a lot and flood lighting. I’d have thought the flames were a natural source of light enough?) The best of it all – the current Mrs Six and Mini Ms Six slept through most of it! Thankfully the family in the house opposite were fine and only experienced a charred fence at the bottom of their garden and the horses in the field next door were evacuated safely in good time.
Anyhow – I carry on through these tribulations with a smile as I wait for the arrival of Mini Six 2 (Mr or Ms yet to be discovered). I hope you enjoyed this; the first of my “Friday 15s” – which will be less about what I am watching & reading and a little more about the my day-to-day life at work and at home trying to raise a family.